Da criança “viada” ao homem bicha: trajetórias e performances afeminadas entre masculinidades hegemônicas e corpos destoantes

Abstract

The life of an effeminate gay woman has several obstacles. From the perspective that there are many peculiarities and similarities between the life trajectories of different bodies, I work with five people, including two effeminate ones, to discuss some of the issues that cross our life trajectories. The objective of the work, therefore, is, based on autoethnography, to understand how masculinity permeates our experiences, whether through concrete or symbolic demands, and to analyze the life trajectories of our interviewees. It argues about individuality, sociability and some crucial factors that can be demarcators for the construction of subjectivity. The research, with qualitative methodology and descriptive, exploratory, ethnographic/autoethnographic types, uses bibliographic review techniques and the composition of life trajectory characteristics and interviews for data collection. In the first chapter I present aspects of adult life. Before that, I talk a little about some characteristics of autoethnography, I briefly explain the research participants, I draw a parallel between autoethnography and writing, showing, at the end of this subtopic, how important it is to rescue the memory of subjugated people to counter the discourse majority. I carry out a discussion between the stages of life and homosexuality, as well as the peculiarities of experiences for the discordant body. I address some limits and possibilities for writing anchored in autoethnography and life stages. I end the chapter by working on the concept of hegemonic masculinity, on what it means to be a man and the dynamics of relationships in contact with individuality. In the second chapter I cover the period of adolescence, with some discussions about “coming out”, that is, coming out of the closet. This exit also ends up presenting itself as a dance, in which we often have to leave or enter this place. In other words, this concept presents itself as situational, contextual and relational. Afterwards, I rely on some reports, as well as bibliography to talk about family and homophobia. Argument about the essentialization of gender present in the terms “masculine” and “feminine”, ending the chapter with a discussion about “faggot” and what it would represent in this binary system. In the third chapter I talk about the childhood of the “faggot” child. This child presents characteristics essentialized as feminine and ends up escaping the required model of masculinity and, therefore, presents himself as a transgressor. Next, I talk about bullying moving towards homophobic bullying and what specificities this concept has. I address the control and surveillance exercised during the first years of our lives, between childhood and adolescence, in acts, behaviors are measured and restricted by those around us. Finally, I discuss some of the happiness that filled our “faggot” childhood: “pop” culture. “Pop” culture, through barbies, Xuxa and Rouge, for example, served us as a source of resistance to represent and express ourselves in this way: queers.